Not so much discipline in the hard way, but to this mind, discipline in the patient way.
Former rat-racer here. I know the work-hard-play-hard paradigm, and the joys of drinking away the memories of my free time. These days I live abroad, work for myself, and am over 11 years sober.
What most people who want discipline want is the immediacy of it. They want it now. I'm with you. If the response sounds anything like "work harder," fuuuugetaboutit. That's demoralizing. It's the wrong response.
But, if folks are waiting for motivation to strike, they're already gonna wait a long time. Motivation, inspiration, confidence. These are all the products of behaviors over time. If they're not available now, they're simply not going to available in the next moment, even with the most triumphant song played at full volume.
Atomic Habits nailed so much of this for this reader. James Clear outlined a way to onboard new behaviors in a way that doesn't feel impossible. I think it aligns well with what you're pointing to here.
I completely agree with your point about "waiting for motivation to strike" or trying to conjure it up with external triggers like a song. It ties into the idea I mentioned about relying on excitement or enthusiasm, which, as you said, is a terrible strategy.
Instead, intrinsic motivators—while more subtle—are much more within our control and can strongly influence our behaviours.
You nailed it when you said continued behaviours enhance motivation, inspiration, and confidence. I see this as a virtuous cycle: intrinsic motivation fuels discipline, discipline leads to consistency, and that consistency further enhances motivation.
This is why honing in on intrinsic motivators like autonomy, purpose, fun, curiosity, connection, etc from the start is so powerful—it sets the foundation for sustainable change.
I agree that Atomic Habits is a fantastic book, but it does lean toward the mechanical side of behaviour change, aside from Identity Based Habits. I’ve found James Clear’s newsletters dive deeper into the psychological and philosophical layers of behaviour change, which is where things get juicy in my opinion.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and share your thoughts, Damon—I really appreciate it.
Came back to read this again, pen and paper in hand. You’re right, motivation and discipline get conflated. Motivation has at least 2 different meanings—the fleeting spark of mental energy to accomplish a task or change, and then the broader ‘why’ we do things. Discipline also has different meanings — one synonymous with consistency and the others more about values driven self-discipline, like virtue or restraint.
I noted a few what I’d call ‘needs’ in there—purpose, autonomy, stability, etc. which I think are crucial to meet for a fulfilled life. So with my pen and journal, I’ve drafted simply 3 positive habits to turn up the volume this week and WHY, and 3 habits to turn down the volume or eliminate and why. The why is imperative. Thank you, Shane. Here’s to a more fulfilled week ahead.
I appreciate you taking the time to revisit this, Adam.
‘Fulfilled’ is absolutely the word here. I find that with those ‘needs’ (which I’d also call intrinsic motivators) in place, it feels like there’s less friction when changing our behaviours.
Not that it’s ever easy—far from it—but something about the whole process feels right, like you’re treading the appropriate path rather than forcing yourself, through sheer willpower, towards goals that, at a deeper level, you don’t even truly care about.
Writing down those habits and their accompanying “whys” sounds like a fantastic idea.
Your essay reminds me of something I read from a Dr Kaushik talk. He said there has to be a longing and that longing comes from seeing the need for change. Without seeing the need, there can be no significant change. It’s been true in my experience and confirms what you say here.
Absolutely. Many judge those who struggle to take consistent action, yet the truth is they often lack the clarity or longing to do so. The cruel irony is that this judgment can push them further away from finding clarity, as their focus shifts outward instead of inward.
Not so much discipline in the hard way, but to this mind, discipline in the patient way.
Former rat-racer here. I know the work-hard-play-hard paradigm, and the joys of drinking away the memories of my free time. These days I live abroad, work for myself, and am over 11 years sober.
What most people who want discipline want is the immediacy of it. They want it now. I'm with you. If the response sounds anything like "work harder," fuuuugetaboutit. That's demoralizing. It's the wrong response.
But, if folks are waiting for motivation to strike, they're already gonna wait a long time. Motivation, inspiration, confidence. These are all the products of behaviors over time. If they're not available now, they're simply not going to available in the next moment, even with the most triumphant song played at full volume.
Atomic Habits nailed so much of this for this reader. James Clear outlined a way to onboard new behaviors in a way that doesn't feel impossible. I think it aligns well with what you're pointing to here.
Thanks for the inspiration, Shane.
Firstly, congrats on 11 years sober!
I completely agree with your point about "waiting for motivation to strike" or trying to conjure it up with external triggers like a song. It ties into the idea I mentioned about relying on excitement or enthusiasm, which, as you said, is a terrible strategy.
Instead, intrinsic motivators—while more subtle—are much more within our control and can strongly influence our behaviours.
You nailed it when you said continued behaviours enhance motivation, inspiration, and confidence. I see this as a virtuous cycle: intrinsic motivation fuels discipline, discipline leads to consistency, and that consistency further enhances motivation.
This is why honing in on intrinsic motivators like autonomy, purpose, fun, curiosity, connection, etc from the start is so powerful—it sets the foundation for sustainable change.
I agree that Atomic Habits is a fantastic book, but it does lean toward the mechanical side of behaviour change, aside from Identity Based Habits. I’ve found James Clear’s newsletters dive deeper into the psychological and philosophical layers of behaviour change, which is where things get juicy in my opinion.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and share your thoughts, Damon—I really appreciate it.
Came back to read this again, pen and paper in hand. You’re right, motivation and discipline get conflated. Motivation has at least 2 different meanings—the fleeting spark of mental energy to accomplish a task or change, and then the broader ‘why’ we do things. Discipline also has different meanings — one synonymous with consistency and the others more about values driven self-discipline, like virtue or restraint.
I noted a few what I’d call ‘needs’ in there—purpose, autonomy, stability, etc. which I think are crucial to meet for a fulfilled life. So with my pen and journal, I’ve drafted simply 3 positive habits to turn up the volume this week and WHY, and 3 habits to turn down the volume or eliminate and why. The why is imperative. Thank you, Shane. Here’s to a more fulfilled week ahead.
I appreciate you taking the time to revisit this, Adam.
‘Fulfilled’ is absolutely the word here. I find that with those ‘needs’ (which I’d also call intrinsic motivators) in place, it feels like there’s less friction when changing our behaviours.
Not that it’s ever easy—far from it—but something about the whole process feels right, like you’re treading the appropriate path rather than forcing yourself, through sheer willpower, towards goals that, at a deeper level, you don’t even truly care about.
Writing down those habits and their accompanying “whys” sounds like a fantastic idea.
Your essay reminds me of something I read from a Dr Kaushik talk. He said there has to be a longing and that longing comes from seeing the need for change. Without seeing the need, there can be no significant change. It’s been true in my experience and confirms what you say here.
Absolutely. Many judge those who struggle to take consistent action, yet the truth is they often lack the clarity or longing to do so. The cruel irony is that this judgment can push them further away from finding clarity, as their focus shifts outward instead of inward.
Good insight. If you're judging, you're not at peace with yourself.